Saturday, May 14, 2011

Decoding : Cute Overdose

A facebook group found out freaky similarities between a Disney wedding and those of William and Kate
 Most of the people I met think that I am no fun. They say that I didn't kept my children's soul because I don't know by heart the song of the opening credits of the Japanese cartoon I've watched when I was a child. They say that I am a cold heart because I ask them to stop sending me YouTube videos of kittens while at work. And they call me an alien because I have main interests and joys different from them. As you can see, in our modern society, grown-ups still behave like kids in the freaking sandbox ... In France, the phenomenon is clearly visible with people in their thirties, and I've observed some similarities while in the USA too. They seem to suffer from the Peter Pan's syndrome : they refuse to enjoy themselves like adults, so they keep doing kids activities, using kids references and most importantly, dressing with kids accessories, this, past twenty. Is this one of the symptoms of the 11th September's trauma ? I think it is rather a new response to the punk "No Future". But while punks were sinking into sex, drugs and good music, this new generation prefers sweets, teddy bears and facebook groups. Harmless ? I'm not sure. But irritating, definitely.
T-shirt Uniqlo £7,99 - Necklace Vivienne Westwood 220euros - Shoes Jeremy Scott for Adidas $250
The day Kate told "yes" to William, I was quite happy. Everyone was behind its TV, and I could enjoy my city, being the only one outside and not obsessed by a wedding that didn't touch me at all. But the avalanche catched me up the following days with intensive press coverage and, above all, web invasion. Oh yes, they were cute, love is great, the princesses had ridiculous hats ... People around the world were acting as if this event was personal to them, calling the bride "Kate" as if she was a close friend. It was an earth-scale version of  movie Muriel, without the good tunes of ABBA. Yes, see, I like joyful music. But I must miss the namby pamby allele on my female chromosome, perhaps the same one which prevents me to like heels ( see my article I'm not Cinderella ), because I don't do idiot little cries when I see a baby or an animal. Something you're now told to do in every fashion magazine that respects itself. Really.
As everything mainstream, the "Cute" quickly became a good tank of inspiration for fashion, and some designers have started to suffer from the syndrom, or mostly, to think that idiots would be delighted to buy their regressive creations. It is certainly the case of Jeremy Scott, who even admits that creating his teddy bears sneakers was the dumbest ideas he had. But thanks to the trend of wearing kids' toys as fashion accessories, he will make a fortune without any regret. Many others were precursors, Moschino and Sonia Rikyel, for example, which quickly assumed a change for exhilarating fluo colours and  models acting like little girls.
Paul&Joe : jacket 295euros, lipstick 21,65euros
But the Golden Palm at Cannes Festival would certainly go this year to the childish prints. Mickey is struting about in both Uniqlo and Topshop, with many of his closest relatives. But now that everyone has got the new book of Jonathan Safran Foer on the bedside, the supreme IT is to show love for animals. Forget about the fuddy-duddy of wearing sweaters with horses designs ! But you will be even trendier with lobsters and penguins in your tees and scarves, signé Charlotte Taylor. The cat is a sure value : it always will be cute. So, brand Paul&Joe was certain to make a hit with their lipstick in shape of the pet. Adorable, admittedly, but how stupid when you have to use it and the cat disappears ? As usual, consumerism didn't stop to strike ... But you don't only wear animals as prints, you also have to wear them as accessories themselves ! The trend has been launched in the catwalks, where models started walking their dogs. Then Natalia Vodianova carried a lamb for lingerie brand Etam. And then again, the escalation couldn't be stopped. On the cover of the magazines, you cannot see the girl without the beast, not dangerous anymore. Even Robert Pattinson showed that gators were cute, and Bulgari offered a big cuddly toy to its new muse Kirsten Dunst ... If Givenchy and Wildfox are still trying to sell drooling fangs, they are totally out of the time. The wild animal inside us has been tamed and it is now as peaceful and sweet as a lamb.
Moschino 683euros
It is not great anymore to be rock : the skulls start to become fun, as for jeweller Aurélie Bidermann, and we'd rather take the sweet necklaces of our childhood out again, because they're the new studs !
Smileys, peace signs, cheerful messages are blooming everywhere, and even the Queen of protest, Vivienne Westwood, have teddy bears in her Summer 2011 collection ! Suddenly, we are all told to dress like Katy Perry and to live on Sesame Street  ! I know that the world is scary, my dears. But I don't think that spending your evenings and nights watching series could help when you're desperately single. Same, I don't think that losing your time watching YouTube videos of pandas could solve your problems of unemployment, neither a t-shirt could fight your angst of nuclear disaster, even made by the interesting label Mother of Pearls. And don't kid yourself : if the richest prescribers of the world are showing you cats with bags, it is not a way for them to bring you something cute and relieving : it is because they are taking advantage of your need for reassurance. Did you see the price of the items shown in this article ? Except for the t-shirt, everything is so indecently expensive. Stella McCartney has taken her last collection directly from your childhood wardrobe and she tries to sell it for a fortune. Blog The Fashion Police ( ) has found a very appropriate expression for that : Daylight Armed Robbery.
V Magazine
Yes, my children, while you are dreaming that you could live forever in your wonderland of childhood references and dreams, the nasty capitalists out there are still planning to eat you in the wood when you will take honey to your grandmother ... And if no t-shirt could repels the troubles of the adulthood, they are also good things about growing up. Believe Aunt Sammy ...
So, put away your Barbies and start looking for them ...
Mother of Pearls

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